So we’ve found an apartment. After camping for 2 months under the tamarisk in Kane Creek, we got a place. A funny story, actually. I called about some office space for rent and asked if they wouldn’t consider renting it out for residential. They said, no of course. But that morning and the lady had heard that a spot had opened up and the girl couldn’t afford it and moved out. Perfect.
Anyway, we’d been partying – a lot. This is one of those crazy summer jobs where you work all day and play all night. The gang is getting along great – we all feel like we’ve known each other for years. Maybe it’s a karma thing – I don’t know.
In reading back some of what I’m writing is very adolescent and I’m shaking my head at how ridiculous I sound in parts. Ah well, it was the feelings at the time, I suppose.
Well, it’s June. I can’t believe it I think this summer is flying by. I just got back from visiting Greg in Albuquerque. He’s doing really well and I’m happy for him. I’m not getting much work right now, but it’s relaxing I know within a couple months impending work every day.
Drew and I have been hanging out a lot. It’s weird to have a “best mate” dare I sawy- down here. We camped in Negro Bill canyon last night – underneath an arch. It was fantastic.
I just got back from Cataract Canyon! It was nuts! It’s almost impossible to understand the size of the rapids and the power behind them. It was a 3 day trip and I swamped. The canyon beauty is breathtaking.
I realize that it takes me quite a while to adjust to new surrounding and people. But right now, I finally feel like I’m fitting in! It was strange, I almost felt like I was back i school trying to impress people. Vibes you get from certain people are definitely weird. Then again, I’m proabably worrying too much again. I feel like I’ve been in Moab for a long long time. It doesn’t seem like 3 weeks at all. This is going to either be a fantastic summer or OK> I suppose it’s still really early to be making any sort of judgment. I feel like I try so hard not be judgmental of people, but for me it seems difficult not to be. I feel like a pretty intense personality and like someone said – there’s definitely something about me that screams independence, maybe it’s true. But I still feel like there are very few people who think like me. I don’t feel like I”m out there – well a little sometimes, but that’s like everyone. In any case, I think I’m doin alright.
I’m back on Moab, UT and I’m a river guide, FINALLY! It all started with Adrift. I went on their training trip and didn’t get hired. Everyone else – other guides – seemed to think it was a rip-off, but I learned quite a bit. Regardless, afterward I went to Tag-A-Long Expeditions,which is where I got hired. I hung around the yard to get my training done and now I’m licensed. I took my qualifying trip on my birthday in a duckie. I got word the next day.
So, this is the next chapter in my journey. After holding this job, as far as today, I will have held almost every job which I found “romantic.” The people I’ve met so far are fantastic. Pretty much everyone from the Adrift trip I’m hanging out with. Drew O, one guy we get along really well so far, Holly E and Two Dogs. These are definitely some of the most mellow people I’ve met in a long long time. I’m sitting here next to the Colorado River, completely content. I finally feel like I can look at someone and say, I’ve done that, been there, do that. Almost like I’ve proved to myself, actually more so to other people, that I can and I do. Maybe I’m reaching that hard-core mentality where you already know and everyone else probably figures you do.
I haven’t been inspired to write in months. I quit both my jobs and am in Moab taking a first-responder class. I didn’t realize how cathartic it is for me down here. Wow. I drove in and had to get out of the car to walk around. I feel very much in synch with the world and zen right now. I feel like what most people imaging happiness is. I fell so liberated from everything.
Running around on the red rocks “frolicking” dare I say. I don’t think I even felt like this when I was in Alaska. The desert is so simple yet complex. I know that’s why I love it.
Society asks why we crave nature and wildness. I think (for me anyway) that we lose ourselves so much in what we do for what we think is our well-being that we forget when everything is taken away, we still have ourselves. We are striving for such a perfect zen that we don’t realize that we’re trying too hard. I think it’s moments of complete peace we strive for. Going by myself, no one else to worry about or entertain helps a lot. But, I suppose there’s a little remorse in everything. Maybe it’s the memories of Spring Break Desert Trips in high school and that’s why it means so much.
Looking back on the past few months, I’ve concluded that I’ve done much of what I’ve wanted to do. Bartending at Salt City, girlfriend, whatever. I’m getting really unsettled as of late. Thinking about running rivers, but don’t know yet. Someone is asking me to help start a small production company, but not until I feel like I’ve lived my life.
But, I find myself rationalizing – too much. I have to add bartending is great. I really enjoy it, but I can’t see myself doing it for the next 20 years of my life. Funny bar stories. The Samoan bouncers are all super nice. You get in good with ond and you’re in good with them all – crazy.
What possessed me to come all the way back to SLC – I don’t know why. I guess I am excited to get back. I suppose this part of my journey has almost come full circle. I’m sitting in Crompton’s before I drive the last bit home. It isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I think I find great and deep relief and satisfaction that I can LEAVE, and I will and do. I think I have touched what I’ve been looking for – just barely. I suppose I’ll know when I’m ready. But, it’s definitely not now in my life. Sitting here I do feel like I’m alive and have actually lived a part of life. So this sounds cheesy. The English language is pretty sterile for expressing one’s feelings in writing.
Back to the old haunts I guess.
Defining moment in my life was driving back from Alaska. I felt like I took control of my life’s direction and set my own goals, not trying to live to someone else’s. Must have been the earring and listening to country music driving across the AlCan (Alaska Canada highway)
I almost forgot, I took the “L” into the city a couple of times. The first time I went all the way to Comisky park. Bad area. Everyone was like…”If you’d gone another 5 minutes you would have been in a really bad situation.” I hardly even noticed. What I did notice was that within 1 stop people went from being mixed to almost all black. Too bad people segregate themselves. Everyone on the train was amazed that I went that far. What was so odd to see was that once you got into a more poor area, people would capitalize on your misfortune. Misfortunate preyed on others – fewer options I suppose.
Another thing that has blown me away is talking to Dad. He supports me in what I’m doing by traveling. He even brought up the idea to work really hard and then travel! I told him that was what I was planning on doing and he thought it was a great idea. I think he’s come to terms that I’m not a screw up and I’m going to be OK. I know they understand, not necessarily like it, but hopefully they understand. I mean, they should, I get it from both of them. I know they worry and miss me – to have parents care is the most security I can ask for.
So I’ve been walking around town and being a couch potato. I don’t think I”ve watched so much TV or slept in so late this whole year. I have been hanging with Dino a little. We’ve been going out to eat and bars. We went to “Little Italy” the other night. Wine, the whole bit. It was delicious. I’ve come to the conclusion that to enjoy yourself in Chicago – you need $$! But, I had an excellent time. There definitely something about people raised in a big city that can grab your attention and hold it forever. We rode around town on his motorbike, in the rain. So it’s dumping and we’re cruising around – laughing our butts off.
The other night we went out for sushi. It was excellent! We basically got drunk on sake and had a great time. We had a bit of a discussion about people worth respecting – all about being real. Not to psychoanalyze, but it all goes back to people thinking for themselves – too many followers in the world?
I think, thinking for yourself is great, but you have to know how to enjoy yourself while you’re doing it. What I’m slowly realizing is that people are too repressed and I’m one of them. That’s why I find totally open people so interesting. D’s philosophy is to try and make everyone he meets smile. Thus the sake/sushi.
The waitress we had was hilarious. Twoward the end of the meal we ordered a beer. We’d been giving the waitress a hard time (nicely) and she busted our chops. She got us a couple free sake’s. When we ordered the beer, she said “Japanese way is to put an orange in the beer.” So she brought us a couple of oranges and we threw them in. It actually tasted pretty good. When she walked by again we told her it was pretty good. She then proceeded to tell us she was joking – ha!I laughed so hard I almost cried.
I could easily get lost in Chicago. If I were more of a “poet” I could be a starving artist here. But I’m not, so oh well. It’s almost time to go.
What were you doing 14 years ago today? Well, I can answer that for myself. You may have started seeing posts titled “14 Years Ago Today;” categorized as such and under “Travel Journal.” These are a collection of entries from my written travel journals capturing my travel adventures across five continents.
These start as a wayward musing about graduating college and leaving for Alaska 5 days later. The story is journey through some of the most incredible years of my life.
I’m transcribing my entries word for word. They’re not meant to be articulate with good grammar. These were written stream-of-consciousness to capture the exhilaration of the moment, magic of the experience and both the romantic idea and the gritty reality of a traveler. Written in locations like mountain tops, open fields of wildflowers, jungle hostels and the odd tea house, these tales capture some of my most memorable, magical moments in a few lines.
Some may know me as the well-dressed digital mind at Ketchum, others may know me as the foot-loose and fancy-free globe-trekking backpacker. Regardless of where anyone is in their life, I hope that sharing these adventures will inspire others to get out of their comfort zone, break convention and experience the world.